E-MACULATE

tittiesandturbos:

rememberwhaturlookingatisme:

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building.

The first says to the other, “I discovered last week that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds whipping around the skyscrapers will stop your fall around the 10th floor and blow you into a window that is always open there.”

“Yeah right,” says the second guy, so the first guy goes over to the window, opens it and jumps out. The second guy rushes over and leans out the window, watching the first guy fall.

As he watches, he sees the first guy slow and then get blown sideways and into the window, just like he said he would. He turns to say something to the bartender, but the bartender just shakes his head and wipes out a glass.

After a minute, the first guy walks in from the elevator. “See? I told you it would work!”

The second guy says, “No way! It must have been a fluke! There’s no way that could happen again.” So the first guy goes back over to the window and jumps out again. Just like before, the wind slows him down and whips him into the 10th story window.

“That’s unreal!” he says to the bartender, but the bartender just shakes his head again and keeps cleaning.

When the first guy gets back to the bar, the second guy finishes off his beer and says, “My turn!” Before anyone can stop him, he lunges out the window and passes right by the 10th story window and splatters on the sidewalk.

The bartender looks at the first guy and says, “Superman, you’re such an asshole when you’re drunk.”

This is one of my favorite jokes of all time.

(Source: officialmikeshannonwebsitedotcom)